Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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