STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
