In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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