he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
