No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This toilet bowl is my home.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
