Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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