What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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