Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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