Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
