whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
