I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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