I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
