Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
