i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
