Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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