his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
