Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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