i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
