dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize