he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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