This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize