we're blogging at a bar
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
