Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Princesses don't give blow jobs
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
