these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize