omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize