i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude. I can hear the air.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
