oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
