doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
