How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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