The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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