you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
