Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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