I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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