i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i would one night stand the shit outta him
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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