We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
