I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
