I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize