I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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