I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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