R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm at about main and main street
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
