mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
