Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
