All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
