I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
