My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
