if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize