She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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