big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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