uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
