Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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