im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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