so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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