Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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