you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
we're so committed to being not committed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
