Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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